Friday, July 23, 2004


HIDDEN THOUGHTS, DESIRES, DIRECT CONFLICT AND IDEALS


Well basically a signature on one of my colleague's mails :'Dont forget you are unique just as everyone one else is ...' makes me ponder over quite a few things.

As I realise I have often and often compared myself to the next guy or a couple of guys and felt happy or miserable based on that analysis. Let me be frank here. To some extent even aping or imitating behaviour and mannerisms.Often my cribs were utter nonsense on the lines of - he can ride a bike I cant ... ; he seems to be aware of all the places in Bangalore and I dont know most ... Kiddish no ?
A psychological anxiety - I maintained these thoughts in the subconcious even though always acted as if I did not care and as a result did not try to develop those very skills or percieved skills that I thought I lacked. Maybe not very simple thought processes I agree, cant help it.

I am basically trying to break free and develop a unique stamp/seal/impression free of impressions from others I interact with or come in contact with. This takes a degree of resolve and in a society it so happens that each person cannot stay untouched from influence of others - some kind of herd behaviour/mentality. Also leader/follower, dominant/weak scenarios arise all the time in life everywhere. The inner and outer man can always be at conflict - what one feels and acts may totally be out of sync. This may be in harmony or may come into a serious conflict with his life. Thus it is better to be oneself and never go into a comparison mode.

The next statement is a real twister read it well to grasp what I want to convey :
Basically what a person projects is what he feels and wants to see prevail but he may be swayed by the contrary or what is currently prevailing - the hidden ambition/aspirations may cause a friction with the ideals and principles he is keeping close to his heart because these hidden desires are exactly opposite to his chosen ideals and this can leave a person in a mental/moral recursion if I am allowed to use the context of the computer terminology - going back and forth, back and forth - thus jeopardizing his normal functioning. You may recollect this as a recurring theme in many books and novels.

I know this above theory will have its critiques and it is just a part of the large and complex mind space that human beings occupy, but this is essentially why I feel the uniqueness of each person should be emphasized (though this too can cause problems if you go deep as I feel) though the underlying strata in all the highest and most developed philosophies is oneness among all beings; even matter and mind ...

Well if it makes you think that this blog post is absurd then do absorb this that being unique this is my real self and maybe my previous post was the other half of my persona's mind speaking ... read the title of this post and you will get what I mean ...


I want to read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's 'A Hundred Years of Solitude' - supposed to be a classic. Also 'Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho.

Listening to :: Wow, for these Kishore classics 
  • Yeh wohi geet hai ... *****
  • Zindigi Ka Safar Hai Yeh Kaisa ... *****
  • Woh Sham Kuch Ajeeb Thi ... *****
Amazing songs !!!
 


1 comment:

  1. I got the Alchemist on Saturday. My mom is reading it now and she says it is a good book. I have to finish the Impressionist before reading that.

    -Sandeep.

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