Saturday, July 24, 2004
Good News ... !
Finally some good news - Ill be chugging off to Calcutta tomorrow; I'll be there for the next 3 weeks at my grandfather's place. So hope to keep you updated from The City of Joy ! Its more than 2 years since I have been to Calcutta last.
Some respite this will be ...
Friday, July 23, 2004
HIDDEN THOUGHTS, DESIRES, DIRECT CONFLICT AND IDEALS
Well basically a signature on one of my colleague's mails :'Dont forget you are unique just as everyone one else is ...' makes me ponder over quite a few things.
As I realise I have often and often compared myself to the next guy or a couple of guys and felt happy or miserable based on that analysis. Let me be frank here. To some extent even aping or imitating behaviour and mannerisms.Often my cribs were utter nonsense on the lines of - he can ride a bike I cant ... ; he seems to be aware of all the places in Bangalore and I dont know most ... Kiddish no ?
A psychological anxiety - I maintained these thoughts in the subconcious even though always acted as if I did not care and as a result did not try to develop those very skills or percieved skills that I thought I lacked. Maybe not very simple thought processes I agree, cant help it.
I am basically trying to break free and develop a unique stamp/seal/impression free of impressions from others I interact with or come in contact with. This takes a degree of resolve and in a society it so happens that each person cannot stay untouched from influence of others - some kind of herd behaviour/mentality. Also leader/follower, dominant/weak scenarios arise all the time in life everywhere. The inner and outer man can always be at conflict - what one feels and acts may totally be out of sync. This may be in harmony or may come into a serious conflict with his life. Thus it is better to be oneself and never go into a comparison mode.
The next statement is a real twister read it well to grasp what I want to convey :
Basically what a person projects is what he feels and wants to see prevail but he may be swayed by the contrary or what is currently prevailing - the hidden ambition/aspirations may cause a friction with the ideals and principles he is keeping close to his heart because these hidden desires are exactly opposite to his chosen ideals and this can leave a person in a mental/moral recursion if I am allowed to use the context of the computer terminology - going back and forth, back and forth - thus jeopardizing his normal functioning. You may recollect this as a recurring theme in many books and novels.
I know this above theory will have its critiques and it is just a part of the large and complex mind space that human beings occupy, but this is essentially why I feel the uniqueness of each person should be emphasized (though this too can cause problems if you go deep as I feel) though the underlying strata in all the highest and most developed philosophies is oneness among all beings; even matter and mind ...
Well if it makes you think that this blog post is absurd then do absorb this that being unique this is my real self and maybe my previous post was the other half of my persona's mind speaking ... read the title of this post and you will get what I mean ...
I want to read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's 'A Hundred Years of Solitude' - supposed to be a classic. Also 'Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho.
Listening to :: Wow, for these Kishore classics
Amazing songs !!!
- Yeh wohi geet hai ... *****
- Zindigi Ka Safar Hai Yeh Kaisa ... *****
- Woh Sham Kuch Ajeeb Thi ... *****
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Future Rama - All loaded with stealth stun weapons and the muscular super-ape in toe.
I wanted to be a writer, a scientist, a paleobiologist, a history scholar, anything; but ended up being a software engineer.
SOFTWARE ENGINEER : (n.) someone who surfs the net at work and checks mail every hour and earns cash for this.
Software engineer = tension (says who ?) - not here where I work.
Dont get the tension up to your head - its so cool out here (where is the AC remote).
As I blogged about the disgust at life, work and stuff - it all seems so foolish now. Why am I wasting precious bandwidth(says who, see what happened to the tech savvy AP Kar and Vajpayee governments).
Tried to boil my blood, instead should have tried to convert my extra flab (loads of it) onto more important things probably brain matter and turned as slim as that Barbie doll my little cousin back in Calcutta has - hey shes going to faint of anorexia.
Just do it - whatever comes take it; take life as it comes ... (what our teacher back in school never taught)
It is the confident person who wins - or atleast it all starts with thinking he will win. It is very essential.
Confidence, over confidence and arrogance are separted by thin lines, and you can get lost among them. Under-confidence is worse - I was stunned how a poor (money?) work environment can make your confidence dip. But I am my own saviour right ? So why blame someone else or something to cover my ______
As I hear innumerable stories of my friends staying up and working for 24+ hours per day I shudder.
Dont kill yourselves guys - 'Have a break' TM - I am serious.
Life is much simpler for me and I can take things more lightly and spend most of my evenings at home reading John Grisham and the like ... (yeah Times Of India - Ascent too)
Coming back to the main issue - I find being a writer would be nice. [Dreaming] The next Amitav Ghosh has arrived.
As I am about to start on my first novel - to be adapted into a serial soon ? As if there arent enough soaps running - Doordarshan is enough I dont know how people survive the character overpopulation in all those cable channels (KKSBKBT something ... I dont know I have only the Net and good ole DD, no cable - more empowered than the masses, see ...)
The future is bright, live on - And yes await with bated breath my scintillating, rivetting, engrossing first novel (la?). Whatever ...
Sunday, July 18, 2004
LINUX KERNEL 2.6.3 AND OTHER STORIES
Well I just built the Linux kernel 2.6.3 and installed it - first time it booted it gave some errors but no problems - it did not have vfat support enabled. However the speed is much better and mouse motion is fluid.
So again I built it - this next time it gave a kernel panic while booting up - something about not being able to read the file format - I had missed out mkinitrd (or make install) left it at make modules_install ...
The .config file need to be generated and its tedious through make menuconfig - you may miss out many options. Instead this is good idea :
cp /boot/config-2.4.22-1.2115.nptl .config (for FEDORA CORE 1 that I am using)
The 1st build is still working but its not reading the CD-ROM drive (block device), floppy drive and no vfat reading support as I mentioned.
- Check this site out - http://stopdesign.com/ - A famous web designer ... Douglas Bowman
- Now in Blogger: WYSIWYG http://www.evhead.com/2004/07/now-in-blogger-wysiwyg.asp
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Its about a lawyer just getting out of law school and literally penniless, as he starts his career with a millionaire lady and a leaukemia victim fighting against a insurance firm, as his first clients ...
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
- Blog Self Censor :: Deleted last post - was too gross for sensible readers
- Amitav Ghosh's next novel is out - 'The Hungry Tide' - based in the Sundarbans (should be good !).
- Currently reading : Selections from Swami Vivekananda's Complete Works.
- Expect less - Motto of life 'Simple living High thinking'
- Indians are loosing this simple concept mentioned above and hence all the miseries.
- The spiritual development in East has been emphasized and respect/affection for fellow humans is more
Poverty and Purity being the essentials.
- The material aspect has caught on like a bug from the western outlook - which is totally artificial and deadly delusive.
- Indulge yours senses more and the more yours senses will ask for - much much more.
Eg : Get a CTV; then a Flat TV, Then with combo drive/DVD , then HDTV then what not ...
- Spiritual comfort/development >> Intellectual >> Physical ... (LEGEND : >> = greater than)
- Heard of the GAIA Theory ? - the Earth is one big living organism ... Go check it out
- The concept of ethics and morals is essntially being selfless ; Immoral = Selfish
- Be good to everyone - dont be a nuisance to anyone.
The concept of ethics rests on the fact that the whole of this creation has evolved of the same Brahman
So you being bad to someone is as good as being bad to yourself. You or me are only a part of the same whole.
- Simple facts of this world - the Maya that this world is; the playground where humans play with their machines and technology and civilizations are all but the sand monuments that humans build as on a beach.
- Humans are one of the most developed of organisms with the faculty of consciousness not present in any other animal - and hence only those capable of self-realization that which you may be aware of as 'Nirvana'.
- The Western Concept : The Mind exists because there exists a body
- The Eastern Concept : The Body exists for the Mind
- Listening to the old Kishore Kumar melodies - what an eccentric genius he was !