Friday, April 01, 2011

The Last Raaga

A numb feeling,
Like perhaps what a mother feels;
A day after the baby has left the womb?
Postpartum depression ...
Not that I would not come here again
But this odd sense of woolly headed, blurred lights.
As the taxi whizzed past the dark shapes of trees.
For a moment I started humming a tune
No, actually a raaga that I had discovered
They say the emotion of a raaga is most important
If somehow one can get the raaga purely based on emotions!
That is greater than technically learning music.
It is like picking out the strains from the substratum of aural fabric
Generated from the mind - intuition driven,
Instead of being learnt through analysis - bit by bit.
I dont know if I had discovered a raaga for late evening
Or one for an emotional state evoked by my alma mater!
"Alma Mater - Nourishing Mother" - Intellectual.
In thought and openness of ideas...
Fed for close to three years.
Now I felt drained and yet euphoric.
Comfort in ambiguity,
Of the life ahead and the city.
I felt sleepy and cyclic bursts of emotions
And finally a calm as I continued to hum the last raaga
Adding newer dimensions, and notes like tributaries!
Till I was home clutching the certification - a material vestige.
The rest was all smeared in my neural circuitry,
The raaga was perhaps a tribute to those days, the people, the atmosphere
And much, much more ...

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