Sunday, April 30, 2006

Its the trust factor, stupid.


The self needs to be conquered first in order to conquer anything else. This has been the recurrent theme from ancient times, which is reiterated in all modern management books too. However too much focus on the self can be devastating as also the cause of anxiety, depression and much else. There comes a time when a particular idea or attitude becomes so inherent in a person that he is unable to see things in any other way. The manner in which a person interacts with people around him is also a direct consequence of the passive or dynamic nature of that person.

Trust becomes an inevitable part of any interaction. Trust is largely a result of the perception that the subjects in question, develop among themselves. There may be an air of mistrust when interacting with some people, that I have observed sometimes even after repeated conversations. May be an attitudinal issue or a general feeling of mistrust or plain boredom or tiredness with either of the persons.

Also aloofness can be a sign of many other things for example disinterest, arrogance, fear, or a genuine reason of the mind being focused on some other object. There is a tendency to interact with a closer section of friends differently from that with colleagues at work and there may be a strict demarcation which I guess is the most wise thing to do.

The basic premise for friendship in my opinion has many things which need to be keenly thought over before getting a stamp of approval. Firstly a wavelength match and then that is not the end of it, how the other person treats you or how you treat the other, has a bearing on the level of friendship that you develop, to state the obvious. 'It is better to have no company than to have bad company' is the old adage, which I am a firm believer in.

Though I am not very adept at making friends, acquaintances would be fine and a strict formal comradeship will never be difficult. Is it a case of being too judgmental ? Also I prefer to be alone at times, when any disturbances or the presence of someone else would irritate me greatly (probably the sense of being that develops if you are a single child). The exact opposite are some people who can make friends at an almost exponential rate. I am not saying one is better than the other just an observation as to the ability to make friends or is it acquaintances.

And trust is something that develops only over a period of time and not in a split second ... (BLINK!)
Would like to know your opinions on this and parameters that you apply & trust relations that you develop. The general modus operandi.

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