Sunday, September 23, 2007

NIRVANA – A NEAT WHITE NOTHINGNESS

A seamless white, with no ends, no corners; a spotlessly clean, featureless white expanse. This soft white, hit him as a very peaceful sight as soon as he had opened his eyes. His eyes registered his own hands and legs, but nothing apart from himself. As he moved a little forward, on a surface that neither felt cold nor hot, he felt he was in a daze. Then for a moment he closed his eyes and he was thrown into another world - one full of colours, riotous colours, chaotic, noisy with sounds from the familiar world; there was the black spiralling smoke and dumps of filth everywhere, blood, gore and sorrow - all this enveloped him. Without another thought he opened his eyes and was back in the peace of that featureless expanse again.

He enjoyed the clear vision for a while; however after a while a strange nagging feeling started to creep in. What felt quite strange to him was having opened his eyes he was in this neat, white yet monotonously boring world, in a sense almost blind. He felt all over his body wondering whether he was in some kind of a simulation, but no, he had no connections anywhere - neither on his head or his neck. Then a panic overcame him, he wanted to get out from this extremely lonely space, he ran, screaming, waving his hands. The faster he ran or the slower it was always the same white, neat, soft and clear world and no physical exits from it, anywhere in sight, no doors or windows; except that easy way out; closing his eyes. He now, voluntarily closed his eyes, tightly shut. It all appeared back again, people, buildings, cars and scars; everything.

It was indeed an irony, that he had craved for this very neat world, wanting to experience the simplicity of the squeaky clean universe, restricted to just himself – no hassles, no problems. But now it was nightmarish, nothing in sight, whenever he opened his eyes it was this nothingness, the great void – brightly blind. No sounds, peaceful yet suffocating, as if he were deaf; no one to share anything with, nothing to see, touch, or modify. Yet when he closed his eyes he was back in that chaotic world that he had wanted to avoid at all costs. This was driving him crazy. He was imagining what he wanted to get away from and what he wanted to experience was now getting on his nerves.

Does this nothingness sometimes allure you and at the same time scare you too; or is the chaotic, colourful world what you enjoy, since there isn't any escape actually? There is an escape into darkness – inevitable death, but like our protagonist, getting trapped in a white expanse, lacking any human touch, would be unbearable, isnt it? Is that what Nirvana would be like or is the guy just hallucinating? And yet the extremes in this world of ours can be scarier still ...

Which is the wiser world?

3 comments:

  1. Hi! Shamit,

    I have quite a few things to say here but I suppose I shall refrain from writing a comment lengthier than the blog itself. :D

    I suppose, yes all of us seek a refuge from this chaotic (colourful, if you may) world. But probably, we all know it deep within that there IS no refuge. I don't know if many have even thought about it very seriously......

    And on the other hand, there ARE refuges that we do seek. But if you look at it honestly, we have become to used to this 'colourful' world that we can't really stand a 'white' world for long..........

    Maybe the protagonist of your blog is stuck against his wish in this white world...........but yes, if such a 'white' world is forced on the coloured beings like us, we may feel trapped indeed!!!!

    Nice blog Shamit.....keep it up

    Pritesh

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  2. Made me think for a while!! nice writing :)

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  3. Pritesh: Yes this is a rather twisted conundrum, a sudden thought that came to me and I captured the same in words ... thanks for reading and your comments.

    Poornima: Thank you for thinking ;) Good to know it trigger your thought stream.

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